Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I lack self-esteem

When I am faced with something unknown, I always feel inferior. Sometimes I even get myself worried till I think of all the negative things about me and how I will be unable to pull through.

I sent letters of application to companies back in December. Only last month and this morning did 2 companies called me offering a placement. Guess what? I already got my placement 2 months ago but it is not from my own application, rather I asked my university to apply for me. I should have called. My mom nagged and nagged me about this. It is not because I am lazy that I did not call any of the companies. I felt very very inferior at that time, thinking that I am nothing, just a speck of dust. My mom would not understand. Probably she went through this before like 30 years ago, and it would be like a pebble blocking her way but it felt like a sky scrapper blocking my way. Same way with how easy SPM would be for me now than 4 years back.

Lesson I hope I learned is to have more faith in myself. I am not that bad....
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Original version
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My version
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