Void

Happy Father's Day have always been plain to me. Every year on this day, I feel nothing. My father is not someone I am proud of and has been like a ghost throughout my life. So, when everyone gets psyched about Father's Day and what they should get for their fathers. I feel a bit left out. One thing my father taught me is to not become like him.

o.o

Finally I realised what has come over me.

I think its called maturity, where you think less about yourself and start to care more about others.

After coming back from NS, I felt a little weird. Like I am not myself. I had trouble trying to search for what I was like before. Took me sometime to embrace the new me and now I finally understood what actually came over me. Now, I can proudly say that I am...no more as selfish and self-centered like before. The word "I" is less meaningful to me now but somehow I still miss it though. It was nice having to not think about everyone else but yourself. I feel that thinking the world revolves around me, makes me feel so........important. haha...

Angel

Today is the last day of SUKMA. Johor won both the men basketball and women basketball.

And just now, in the stadium, I saw an angel. All the while I have describe girls as just pretty, beautiful, or cute. She, was in a league of her own, an angel. When I saw her, my jaw drop and I was stunned at the same time mesmerize by her beauty. She have all the features I deem as perfect. Well, nowadays girls like to wear body fitting clothes so, I got to see her figure. Face (including eyes, mouth, nose, ears, her cheeks), tick; hair (ponytail, shining black), tick; body shape (emm....emmmmm), tick; legs (wow), tick; skin, tick. Since I labeled her as an angel already....DEFINITELY ALL TICKS! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh~~~~~~ xD

Just another day

sometimes...I feel the need to have one, then after thinking properly...I am fine without. Anyway, the feeling is just temporary. It goes away.

finally!

Finally, ravi finished his last paper in MMU. Now I can add him and several others into my Hall of Fame.

First up, Ravi of course. The first time I came to MMU, I stayed in EP (Block A 0308) and he stayed in room 3. Unlike, ah gou and ah mao, I didnt meet him and Hei Lek properly during the first half of my first semester due to me eating alone and sleeping early. Then, ah gou and ah mao told me room 3 tenants are very fierce. Supported by ah tat (which I havent find out his words are only 20% believable) I believed them. Then, I found a statistics book outside which I need and I asked the everyone else except room 3 whether it was theirs. Then, I went to room 3 at last and asked. Hei Lek was sleeping, so I asked Ravi. Then suddenly Hei Lek with a frustrated voice said in mandarin "who o? keep making noise. I cant sleep". That time I was like, shit man...shouldnt have asked. Then Ravi replied shortly that that book dont belong to anyone. After that, I dont dare to talk to them until after midterm break. After midterm break, on the way back to my room from ah gou and ah mao room, I saw Ravi reading Bleach, then we talked a bit. That is when i found out that I got bullshitted by the cat, dog and hippo. Now, he is like a big bro to me.

Next is Chu Hui and Pei Lin. I met them here.

Ah Tat is the one who introduce them to me during the event. I was writing on the whiteboard used as scoreboard on the floor while both of them was the table official. Once in awhile, they will check with me the score whether they tele or not. Then they also asked me questions like where I was from etc etc. That time damn paiseh talk to them. Then Pei Lin will give some sarcastic comment and look away laughing (her pattern, until now also the same. once you miss you wont know what she say). I find her character funny at that time. I still remember after that we went to eat at Highland. I took damn lot of food that time and had a hard time finishing it. Chu Hui asked me whether I can finish it or not. To not lose my cool, I said can and slowly push it down my throat. Pei Lin gave another sarcastic comment again but I couldnt get it cause she said it while facing away again. The next day I saw Chu Hui at Mesra and that was when I got to know her name. After that, the next time saw her again was when she sold sweets for some subject. There was lollipop wrapped like a bouquet of flowers and packets of sweets. Unfortunately, I was and still is single so I just bought the packet of sweets instead (not really packet, I just chose 10 and paid her the money). Once awhile Pei Lin will come out and chat with ah tat. Only when they joined the basketball committee the next year that I really got to know them and hang out with them. For Chu Hui, last time she was more of like the quiet type, very polite but now...I think mix too much with us boys or maybe now got Ravi backup already, she become guai lan already. Pei Lin on the other hand, did not change much. Just that now I am able to catch all her sarcastic remarks, haha.

When joining the committee, I got to meet Irene also. I still remember what question I asked her. Because I was not familiar with being an interviewer, I didnt ask anything. Then, suddenly ah tat force me to ask a question. So, I asked Irene, "If you are a treasurer and you suddenly lost the money, what would you do?" After she answered the question, the whole room went silent. That was when I felt damn awkward asking such question. Later, found out that she stays in Istana Melaka when she invited us to her birthday party. Her house...is like perfect. But for me, I prefer not to have until three floors. Other than that, wonderful! At her house, she is different from when she is outside. She is more...how to say...her actions are more controlled, like the princess in "Princess Diaries". Oh, also found out when we went Tioman that she gets hyper when she drinks. Unlike her usual composed self. Her jokes can be cold sometimes too...cause nobody understands them. So, once awhile must laugh also eventhough dont understand. Overall, she is a quite a nice person to know.

Actually, I am glad to know all of them. Great friends I have ^^

20 and what it means to me

Since I am the youngest in my group of friends in Malacca, I once teased a friend of mine, Chu Hui. She was going on about being 20 as in already old. Then, I would tease her saying I still have the number 1 in in my age and that I am young. Now, I have reached 20 but unlike her I am not worried about being old. More about what that 20 means.

For me, 20 means the start of climbing that ladder to success that I have taken 20 years to build. The thing is I havent finished building that ladder and I am starting to doubt the stability of that ladder. Recently, my last semester's result really gave me a slap in the face. I have been slacking off and that makes my scared. Scared I wont be able to fortify my ladder to bring me to the top and I will just tumble down like Humpty Dumpty.

20 also means responsibility, more independence. Independence as in I must be able to feed and take care of myself without relying on my parents anymore and be responsible of my well-being. Taking care of my parents...maybe later after I am able to take care of myself.

But if you ask me whether I want to turn back time and be 10 again. My answer is " HELL NO! ". Why move back and repeat things you already done? I say we go forward and do things we never do before!

sem break just ended

1. went on trip to penang with family. family.

2. had my first accident in penang. sad.

3. went to temple with my mom on wesak day. spiritual.

4. made concrete divider for the front of my house. physical.

5. went to malacca with kajang friends and my bro. friendship.

6. failed to reduce my round tummy. failure.

7. sucky exam result. disappointment.

woah...what also got this sem break. ups and downs