I am afraid i am going to have trust issues in the future. So far, in my degree year, I never thought of any of my coursemates as my real friends. So whenever they cant complete their part of the group assignment, I just do it all. It's okay, doesn't hurt that much. Just lose trust and a bit angry after that. But this week, when finally I regard these two people as my friends among my coursemates, they disappoint me. Cant finish their part of the assignment. I have to take it all again. What to do? Leader, I distribute, they cant do. Either I do it or pass it up incomplete which of course I prefer the first option. But you see, when you regard a person as a friend and if they do this to you, push problems to you, it hurts even more. Not just angry, fucking pissed off is what I am feeling.
How can they have the heart to say things like,
"hard la, i cant do. you help me do la. i do other things"
if the assignment is easy, then it is not an assignment! and they expect me to do it. how am i any different a student from them? Fuck the world!
for this recent milling project i am working on, one of my friend said
"I dont think we can do milling by this week"
of course there is a reason why i want to do it this week. bcoz for next week, many people will be waiting for the machine and its a waste of time to go and wait for your turn or fight with people for the machine. In the end, i finished both our parts without telling him and when i asked him, how is the programming? he did only half and havent even simulated it. Then i told him i finished it already. he replied,"walao, how you do so fast o?" why dont he reply me "walao, why i so slow?"
and for a student, definitely your first priority is to finish your degree right?
this friend of mine is so obsessed with stock market now that he dont even listen when i talk to him. having to repeat and explained over and over again pissed me off even more. and the reason why he cant finish the programming is bcoz of his obsession.
okay lets say u want to learn and play stock trading. have some balance on your studies also for god's sake. For example, when you juggle 3 balls, do you only pay specific attention to one ball?
I am sure the other will fall.
I hate the biggest bullshit of all when you say you got no time then I found out from others that you can go yumcha (drink and chat with friends). Bloody bastard I tell you...I am damn pissed with this shit. Dont give me this shit. It doesnt make sense. You got no time, I got time? Fuck off!
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Thanks to all these shits, I overworked myself and I am sick now.
If this continues, I think I will end up an isolated person who cant work with anyone else cause I cant trust anybody anymore. The more you trust, the more it hurts when you are disappointed.
P/s: telling me you are sorry you can finish on time only makes me feel disgusted. Unless you tell me you are sorry you went yumcha, or obsessed with wateva shit your are obsessed with until you couldnt finsh the stuff distributed to you then I will accept.
