Monday, September 29, 2008

Crying silently

I am just too damn possessive!
Why can I never let go!
Why am I so attached!
I cant forget!
I cant move on!
By looking back I might think that I have manage to pass through this darkness but when I look forward...I am still walking the same path...

Have been looking in the mirror lately...I dont like what I see and I bet the one looking back doesnt like what he sees too. I keep telling people to love themselves so that others could love them but instead I myself cant do it...What a let down...

I promised myself to not feel pathetic for myself anymore...I have broken my own promise...

Heroes and smallville are back!

Heroes is back with its season three!
From season 2,
With Adam (the person that cannot die) stuck inside of a coffin beneath the surface and the virus destroyed, the world seem to be a safe place again but now that Syler (the person who has the ability to figure out the other heroes power by killing them and looking at their brain) got his power back, our heroes is in danger once again.
Now, the battle of the different generation of heroes begin with the new wanting to reveal themselves and share their abilities with the world but the old still wanting to keep their powers to themselves. Still downloading episode 1 and 2, so I havent watch anything yet...Cant wait!

Smallville season 8!
From season 7,
With brainiac now destroyed and Kara (Clark's cousin) locked away in the phantom zone by brainiac, Clark faces a new problem, Lex Luthor!
Lex found out that Clark is "Superman" and he also found a device said to be able to control the traveler aka "Superman". In the season 7 finale, he inserted the device into the main control of the lair and the episode ended that way...
So, in season 8, will Clark end up as Lex's puppet or will the device fail to function?
Still downloading the first two episode...

Its been so long since the last season that I need to watch the season finale to be able to recall back the story...Now I am also waiting for Kyle XY to start its season 3 and Chuck to start season 2. Then, I will have many TV series to occupy myself with and slow down on my "assignment" <--- DoTA.

Eh, almost forgot...FINAL EXAM!!!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Wrong time for Final!

Haih...I dont know why whenever my holiday starts, everybody else is not free.
When I start a new sem, everybody is free...

This final schedule suck real bad...5 exams in 4 straight days!
Wanted to spend time with my brothers and mother doing some activities together but when my final starts, my elder bro starts his new sem...

Now, there is this gathering with my NS friends on this coming Wed but I cant go...stuck in Malacca with a pile of notes and tutorials to decode...Curses!!! MoJoJoJo!!! (I know...I watch PowerpuffGirls once upon a time) first emo post on this blogsite. Cheh...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

What the heck?!

Every dream has it's own meaning...

Last night, I dreamt of me taking a stroll in a car along the edge of some town (big mansions own by rich peoples). There were background voices telling me details about the place but I cant make up who those voices belongs to as my eyes were always looking outside and the voices didnt sound familiar. Then, I came to a narrow path (sort of like a jungle trekking path but I was standing on a platform made by wood so that I am about a foot lifted from the ground). My transition from inside a car to on foot was amazingly smooth as if the car and the people inside just slowly faded away.

The surroundings of the path is just trees and bushes. I was now walking on the path and I came across a slunted electric post and then a few more after it like a chain reaction where the first one pulled the others down. As I moved along, the green scenery around me started to turn black. The whole place was burned down and beside me there was this charcoal goat which a part of it still glowing red (bara). Further across, there was a charcoal cow. The more I went along the path, the more charcoal goats and cows I see until finally the whole surrounding around me was pure black. The sizzling sounds and smoky fumes evaporating can be heard and seen everywhere. Approaching the end of the path (there was no more wooden platform), I saw a walking cowcoming towards me. I scrambled to the right and got a view of it from the right. The cow was so severedly burn that it was left with it's insides and it's frame holding them together. There was also a spot on the body where it turned into bara. If this was not a dream, the cow must be a hell cow!

Finally, I came to the source of the fire. It was a black frame of a house with no more walls and ceiling. I walked pass a man beside a a pile of things burning then I turned back and stare at him. He also turned back and asked me to come to his place. When I reached there, he was holding two sticks and trying to fling a kitten into the fire. I shouted, " Woi!", the first word and only word that came out of my mouth throughout the dream. As I was about to ask him how the house got on fire, he answered my question by making gestures resembling an open burning which led to the fire spread. And then he pointed out at a fire starting on the roof of the next house. Then I woke up....

What I can make out of this dream is,
chain reaction - I always get excited and interested whenever this word appears.
charcoal goat and cow - wtf? Must be the recent case about milk powder in China.
kitten - like them cause they are just to cute and fragile
open burning - hate it very much (last time my neighbours always burned rubbish outside their houses and the smoke and debris always gets in the house)

Monday, September 22, 2008


This is now the only form of solitude known to me.
This is where I can escape into nothingness and not think about anything.
This is my island, my new escape!

But everything new has its cons, for me, this new escape can turn around pretty bad and become a nightmare.

And when its time to return, I wake up to another day. Another day closer to when I will really see and be one with nothingness.

Friday, September 19, 2008

2 more weeks to final

While everyone is busy talking and discussing about politics, the rest of my coursemates and I were busy preparing for our final midterm test. Tonight, I almost gg (screw up) the test because my calculator was set to radian mode. Luckily I found out in time switch it back to degree mode.
The exam went well and I was able to answer the questions (the only thing now is whether the answer is right or not).

The whole time during the exam this song played in my head ==> The way I are - timbaland feat keri hilson and d.o.e
Having a fast song in my head acts as a double-edged knife.
If I can answer the questions, then it is good!
If I can't, it will make me panic...

To those who haven't heard of the song yet, here it is. Hope it plays... =P

Oh ya, I wont be back during this two weeks so that I can concentrate on studying instead of Raya-ing.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Why post the question now....

Today during thermodynamics, my lecturer asked the class, "Why you all choose mechanical engineering?".

At first I had the answer assuring myself that I like everything about forces.

The second time he asked adding,"you all really should think carefully cause you all will be graduating as a mechanical engineer and work then retire as one too".

After that, I started to doubt myself...If I am going to be a mechanical engineer, I will definitely face and apply thermo until the end of my career which I am not afraid of except for the fact that I failed my midterm...But the real question that was playing in my mind was,"Do I really want to be an engineer?".

It is nearing my final exam and if I cannot manage to give myself an answer and set my head straight...I think I am going down! Why Mr. Hung?! Why?! Why now?!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

"The" person I care about

She left with tears gleaming in her eyes...
for everybody she left behind
for everything she is about to find
for the unknown she fears
for leaving her sanctuary
for the anxiety in her heart
for she is alone now with nobody but herself to depend on...

All the best Jo Sheen! And I shall see you next year like we promised ^^

Mooncake festival

My purpose I went back is not because of the mooncake festival actually but for settling my JPA scholarship stuff. I dont like mooncakes anyway (no offense >..<) because it tends to stick here and there in your mouth which I really hate...

Since I am back and I want to spend time with my lil brother, we went to the temple to celebrate the festival. Before going, I thought of making a lantern with a sunquick bottle. I made a candle stand with a wire that goes into the bottle. Unfortunately, the candle couldnt last very long due to the lack of air flow...Tried to make (break actually) a hole in the bottom of the bottle and ended up breaking the whole bottle

That night at the temple, my brother, both my small cousins and I participated in a lantern making contest. The materials used were recycled items. Having not enough time to finish, the lantern looks like literally like junk put together with tape. Haha! Nevermind, at least we had fun. I didnt bring back my camera if not you will be able to see the super cute face of my cousin XD

Then there were performances by the kids from the temple. Wow they really can sing XD

Friday, September 12, 2008

"Auto" experience

Today, I was allowed to drive an auto-car and I have two advice for people that read this...

1) If you are a regular manual-car driver and its your first time driving an auto-car, please dont put your left foot on the brake pad. Leave your left foot alone and control the accelerator and brakes with your right foot only.

2) If you are a new driver (like me I am still on P), try not to drive a bigger car than what you usually drive.

That's it...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Am I chinese?

Sweat... today I was supposed to do my assignment but instead I succumb to the temptations of playing basketball and ended up playing from 9 till 11 pm. After that we went to drink fruit juice to replenish body fluid XD

On the way back, when I was about to cross the road, a taxi honked at me and stopped beside me. The taxi driver asked me,"Ni pang wo wen zhi ge ren yi xia ta yao qu na li?" (help me ask this guy where he wants to go in mandarin just in case you dont know what I typed XD) Then before I managed to say anything, he asked again,"ni shi hua ren ma?"(are you chinese?) Zzzzzzz =.=

Yeah I replied then asked the International student (the taxi driver refer to him as an Indonesian XD) where he wants to go and then told the driver. (Lazy to type in mandarin because I dont know the spelling. =P)

Haih...I know I am a half-banana but are you chinese...LMAO

Sunday, September 7, 2008


Last night, or should I say last night till this morning was just CRAZY!!!

This is not related but on the way to dinner there was a dead lizard aka biawak which was about 3 feet long crushed dead on the street. The insides were like spilling out...Eww~~

After dinner, my friends and I went back to our respective homes. I started doing my notes on this chapter Fourier Series which I totally have no idea what is it about. About 10 o'clock, I called this girl I had a crush on during secondary school. She is going to travel to India to study medicine and I have promised her that afternoon that I will call her. So, I called and she picked up right away! Must have been waiting for my call XD

At first I felt quite awkward because it has been a long time since I last called her on a phone (eventhough last week we just went out together to have breakfast). After awhile the awkwardness disappear and we chatted till my phone ran out of credit (which was the usual case everytime I call her last time). Then she called me back and we chatted somemore till 11 o'clock when her mother stopped her to ask her to go take a bath. She is going of to India on the 14th of Sept. I promised her I will call her again before she leaves. It is still a mystery to me why are we not a couple till now...Maybe I didnt make a move or maybe neither of us wanted to risk destroying this friendship.

After that, I continued with my notes until 12 something when my housemate shouted, "DOTA lo!!!" LoL. There were five of us versus 5 AIs. Lost two games and won 1 game (In between the second game, three more of my friends came back from playing snooker). I looked at the clock on my phone...Holy crap! 4:30 am =.= Then we did a bit of wrestling before I went to sleep while they continued Dota-ing.

At about 6 am, they woke me up cautiously (I am known to be very grumpy when disturbed during sleep XP). I woke up and all the eight of us went for dim sum. We ate then sat there to chat. Everybody was high including me, I dont know whether it is because all of us are sleepy or because this is something we usually dont do but whatever man...All of us are happy. About 7 something we went back to my housemates and my apartment (the other 4 are living elsewhere). While some of us went to bed, the rest continued for one more game of Dota! We ended up sleeping at 9 o'clock in the morning.

I know this is crazy but I am glad I did it because it gives me a fresher feeling instead of just wake up study play, eat, play game and then sleeping at 12...YEAH!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Never have I felt such burden before

Its like a meat hook piercing right through your flesh and right between your bones hooking itself such that it is impossible to remove without hurting yourself.

Yeah, this is the feeling that is always haunting me these few days. My inability to catch up with the lessons during lectures is just adding load to the hooks day by day. The limited amount of time I have to regain control of those lessons is not helping either. A few times this thought have crossed my mind.

Knowledge always expands but time to learn up all the knowledge gets lesser and lesser

I think this is the reason that made most of the students either give up, standing on a tread or become a robot!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Shitty morning...

Damn damn damn!

Stupid tedious "Pay Bils online"...
Wanted to pay my tuition fees this morning and after waiting about half an hour at the ATM machine to get my e-pin yesterday...I found out I have to get my TAC-Transaction Authorization Code which I will need to register my phone number again at the ATM machine so that they can send me the code (why the phone number when registering online then...).

Whatever...went to register my number at the ATM machine (queue for bout 10 mins). Then requested my TAC number which didnt arrive. Waited and waited then I panicked...what if I key-ed in my phone number wrongly...SHIT! Went to confirm my number at the ATM machine again.

Had an argument with my mom on the phone on me being so stupid I didnt ask the person in the bank about my problem etc etc (basically got some lecturing which leaves me in a very bad mood now...DAMN!)

While arguing, the sms for the TAC code all came at once, there was 8 sms (din realise until I finished getting lectures from my mom...DAMN AGAIN!)

Went to the website again to finally pay my tuition fees so that I wont get barred...Entered the particulars and my TAC number is incorrect...after 3 times, they blocked me...Then a sms arrived giving me another TAC number...Okay...What I manage to reason out was that the first time, I already registered my phone number correctly...just that the sms didnt come (it came later after I registered my phone number the second time). Then the second time I registered my phone number...they changed my TAC number...(the sms after I was blocked)...DAMN 3 more times!!!

Have to call them up and after telling the bank people my problem...they reset the TAC stuff and asked me to request it again after 12 noon...40 mins from now...Hopefully, then I would be able to pay my tuition fees.

You must be thinking, "serve you right for paying your tuition fees at the last minute". Well, if it is not because of the freaking JPA scholarship offer letter that havent arrive (I just need to show my U the letter and dont need to worry about my tuition fees)...I would have paid by now and all this ridiculous events wouldnt have happened. So, I thought I should give a call to JPA just to give them a piece of my mind and also channel my anger. Toot toot...nobody pick up...whoever is on the other side is one lucky and lazy bugger...

In the end, it was all my mistake for not anticipating all these...what my mom said was right eventhough it adds to my irritation...trying to suck it all in and contain my anger and frustration to myself so that I wont release it at the wrong people...Breathe in....Breathe out....

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Nice words (thanks to mao mao for sending this to me)

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two


1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.我愛你不是因為你是誰,而是我在你面前可以是誰。

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚,值得的那一位,不會要你哭。

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Exam then holiday

Havent been bloggin for awhile now, well this i s the recent updates from me...

My unsatisfying lust for sweets during exam period

So, after exam, I had a weekend of plus Monday and Tuesday holiday due to Independence Day and Awal-Muharram (first day of puasa for the Muslims). So, my whole family excluding my dad, went to Port Dickson to have are some pics from the trip...

Stop at Shell gas station to pump petrol and also air. As you can see the sun is high up in the sky >

Ahh...arriving the beach

Nice view of the beach. We always come to this part of the beach since my uncle discovered it not too long ago

My elder bro and my younger bro diggin for shell fish

I thought it would be nice to carve my nick on the sand =P

Pizza my mom made for snacks =D~

Pic of my mom

My small bro and me

Some f-ing assholes that dont know how to preserve the cleaniness of the beach (ROT IN HELL MOFOS!)

The shellfish we caught (well, mostly my mom caught XD)

Sunburn like char siew.... >..<

That's it for now...later

Someone once told me...

Knowledge is obtained through your own effort and hard work. Keep it up!

"A's" are for God, "B's" are for lecturers, "C's" are for students and "F's" are for animals.

A good leader will always be the first person to arrive and the last person to leave.

Try to smile no matter what, cause you never know when your smile could lighten up someone's day as well as it will lighten up mine.

There are two types of leader, "THE EFFECTIVE - result based without considering the procedure" and "THE EFFICIENT - procedure based without considering the results"

Success is not Final and Failure is not Fatal

Original version
"If it doesn't kills you, it will only make you stronger"
My version
"CHARGE!!! unless you are dead..."

The medium of transfer is not what matters, it's the value of the content!

This is what I told myself: Bullshit lecturer + Insufficient notes = YOU ARE SCREWED!

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you (referring to the whole class) all the luck in your future -Dr Nabil

Share knowledge because it multiplies, dont share money because it divides.

There is time to have fun and there is time to study

Put all your eggs into one basket and watch it

Always ask yourself, "what happened? what actually happened?" - Kok Lin